Thoughts to Ponder

After a divorce you're stuck with what you're stuck with, at least for a while.  You have to make the best of what can be a tough, even ugly, situation.  Here's a quote I like to read to keep me focused on reality and not the "what ifs".

"Nobody's problem is ideal.  Nobody has things just as they would like them.  The thing to do is to make a success with what material you have.  It is a sheer waste of time and soul-power to imagine what you would do if things were different.  They are not different."

-Frank Crane

When getting divorced or getting over a divorce it is hard for the mind to focus. If your days start out with confusion or panic, remember that most successful days start with a plan and end with planning. Give it a try! I think you will be amazed at the results. I find it helps if I do this in writing.  This quote reminds me of the importance of having a plan and sticking to it so you can have time for the really important things in your life.

"You will never find time for anything.  If you want time, you must make it."

                                                                  -Charles Bixton

Money is often a big factor in divorce. It definitely does not get any smaller after divorce. Remember this simple rule. 

"If you don't control money, it most certainly will control you."

After a divorce we often end up in denial. We all know you can't change the past, but we often choose to re-live the past over and over again. You can't get on with the future when you are stuck in the past. One way to get out of this rut is to step back and give it your best shot to see things the way they really are, now, in the present. The next step is to accept this reality. It doesn't mean that you will like what you find, but by accepting things as they are in the present you can leave denial and the past behind and get on with your future. Life is dealing with and adapting to a connected series of changes. Life is only static in photos and in our minds when we let it stop moving. However the world around us never stops, hell it doesn't even slow down. Here are two quotes that I really like -- they help keep me moving and not just treading water.

"I want to die living!"                                                                     Unknown

"Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live."

                                                                             Henry Van Dyke

One of the things that goes wrong and often is a player in getting divorced, is how busy all of us have allowed our lives to become. Very often in a divorce the irreconcilable differences arise not from what we do, but from what we say we are going to do, but never do. I find these two little quotes very helpful in preventing an overload in the future. I hope you find them helpful too!

"The fewer promises you make the more you'll keep."

"The fewer commitments you have, the more committed you'll be."

After a divorce most of us need to work on improving our attitudes. This quote, posted in a prominent place, helps me work on my attitude daily. 
Give it a try!

"In one minute I can change my attitude and in that minute I can change my entire day."

-John Charles Neil