Divorce will be a major transition in your life. It may take between six and eighteen months to complete the proceedings. Even when these proceedings are finished, your divorce may never be "over," especially if you have children. Financially, you will still be dependent on one another to take care of the children. Emotionally you may still have strong feelings of anger, guilt, or sadness regarding the divorce. Your family life and your social life will be greatly affected as you re-negotiate your relationships with others as single individuals rather than a married couple. In short, everything will change.
Ann Landers, the famous advice columnist, used to give this suggestion to people who were thinking of leaving their spouse. She would tell them to ask themselves, "Am I better off with or without this person?" For some, the answer is clear. But for many others, the decision whether to divorce will not be an easy one.
Should You Divorce?
As you contemplate the changes that divorce will bring, you may be asking yourself if your marriage can still be saved. Melvin Belli and Mel Krantzler, authors of Divorcing
, offer some guidelines for those who are considering divorce. There may be hope for your marriage, if you and your spouse can recognize yourselves in the following statements:
If these conditions are not met, or if you can honestly say that the answer to Ann Landers question, "Are you better off with or without this person?" is "without," then you may be ready to file for divorce. Below is the information you will need to start the process as well as a guide to the contents of this site.
Divorce versus Annulment
While a divorce is a dissolution of a marriage, an annulment is the voiding of a marriage, which treats the union as if it never existed. People who request an annulment usually do so for religious reasons, or in some cases, they believe that divorce carries a stigma. For Catholics who pursue an annulment for religious reasons, the annulment must be approved by the Church rather than by the state alone. There are specific grounds for annulment, and they are: fraud or misrepresentation, inability or unwillingness to consummate the marriage, refusal to have children (if this was not disclosed before the marriage), and concealment of serious personal issues. Example of concealment would include not telling your partner that you have children from a previous relationship or not disclosing a serious addiction problem.
Fault/No Fault
In some states you can choose to pursue a fault or no fault divorce, while other states allow only for no-fault divorces. In a fault divorce, it is necessary to prove that one person was guilty of wrongdoing, such as emotional or physical cruelty, adultery or abandonment. Proving that your spouse was "at fault" allows you an advantage in terms of the settlement that you're entitled to.
On the other hand, no-fault divorce does not require you to prove that one person was in the wrong. The grounds for this kind of divorce is usually cited as "irreconcilable differences." Some states require you to live apart for a certain length of time before they will grant a no-fault divorce.
No Response
You can obtain a divorce even if your spouse will not respond to the petition or cannot be located. If your spouse does not answer your petition, the divorce will be granted by default.
Refusal to Divorce
You cannot block a no-fault divorce from proceeding by saying that you do not wish to divorce. Because this constitutes a serious difference between you and your spouse, your refusal in itself is grounds for a divorce for irreconcilable differences.
Divorce Guidelines.com
Divorce Guidelines provides basic information for many different issues related to divorce. It offers answers to your most important questions, no matter what stage of the divorce process you currently find yourself in.
The website walks you through the process and the issues related to divorce. As you browse the site, you may choose to read each article in order, or you may pick and choose to find the topics most relevant to your case. If you want more information, be sure to check out the links to other divorce sites and take a look at the range of books and services and divorce newsletters you can find through Divorce Guidelines.
Overview of the Site
Before you begin the process of divorcing, you may need to learn some basic facts about divorce and make the difficult decision, "Should I Divorce?"
Once you have decided to initiate divorce proceedings, you may be wondering whether a do-it-yourself process is right for you. If you know you want to seek professional assistance, you'll have to find a good divorce lawyer or a mediator. You may also find that counseling is essential at this difficult and emotional time in your life. The website offers information on each of these topics.
If there are children in involved in your divorce, you'll find information about child custody and child support.
As your case proceeds, from the outset to the very end, you'll need to learn as much as you can about the financial implications about divorce.
When your divorce case is complete, you'll face the challenge of building a new life. You'll find that this is easier to do if you develop some hobbies and pastimes and give some time and attention to your health and fitness. The websites contents include suggestions for building new relationships as well as some thoughtful quotes to ponder about divorce.
Finally, please check out our selection of divorce workbooks. We hope you'll find them useful.